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back in an apartment

from something missing by still real

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lyrics

it's quiet.
i don't know if i want to break the silence.
every word i say comes out wrong.
"focus," they say,
but i'm not a drone.
i'm a boy, with dreams and hopes of having a place to call my home.

i’m not cut out for all of this,
living second floor in a shitty apartment,
gang symbols on basketball courts,
rusted over monkey bars,
loose screws, duct tape, and splintered wood.
less than the children deserve,
but it’s all their parents can afford.

i'm tired,
but i'd never waste a high.
i know i'm a burden. i can see it in my mother's eyes.
she never hoped that her baby would turn out this way,
but i got nothing to say.

but she says, "join the real world, kid.
the work force has no time for any of all that anxiety bullshit.
pull yourself together, and then finally you'll be better
than you are right now, and how i am now too.
and that's all i could ever want for you."

but the circle of life is as the circle of life goes.
wherever i grow up is wherever i will go.
so, i guess i’ll catch the current as it moves steadily.
i want to move forward, but nothing else will take me.

credits

from something missing, released May 12, 2016

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just a miserable kid

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